When I speak to moms about protecting their children from sexual abuse, I invite them to enlist others to help them with their mission. "Grandparents, teachers, coaches, etc... can all become part of your team." I say.
Recently a friend of mine shared the following experience she had with her child's pediatrician.
As we were gearing up for the start of kindergarten I took Matthew to the pediatrician for his five year well check. I have always liked our pediatrician, but at this particular visit, I fell in love with her care for my son.
When it was time for Dr. Nancy to check his pelvic area she looked at him and said, "Matthew I need to check under your pants, but before I do that, I need to ask someone for permission. Who do I need to ask to check under your pants, Matthew?"
"Mommy," Matthew said.
"You are right," she said.
Then Dr. Nancy turned to me. "Mommy, is it okay if I check under Matthew's pants?"
"Yes," I answered.
She turned toward Matthew. "Matthew, Mommy says it's okay, but Matthew, what if Mommy had said no, then what would you do?"
"I would say NO and scream!" he said.
"That's great, Matthew! And there is one more thing you should do if someone asks to look under your pants without permission. You should find and tell mommy or daddy."
With tears in my eyes I looked at her and said, "Thank you for that."
"You're welcome," she gently replied and continued on with the exam.
As a survivor of sexual abuse and a mommy who has been teaching my son what to do and say if anyone ever asks or tries to touch the area covered by his bathing suit, this visit with his doctor helped affirm everything I have been working so hard to train Matthew to do. It gave me confidence that what I have been teaching him is sinking in and he knows what to do if he's ever put in that situation.
Recently a friend of mine shared the following experience she had with her child's pediatrician.
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As we were gearing up for the start of kindergarten I took Matthew to the pediatrician for his five year well check. I have always liked our pediatrician, but at this particular visit, I fell in love with her care for my son.
When it was time for Dr. Nancy to check his pelvic area she looked at him and said, "Matthew I need to check under your pants, but before I do that, I need to ask someone for permission. Who do I need to ask to check under your pants, Matthew?"
"Mommy," Matthew said.
"You are right," she said.
Then Dr. Nancy turned to me. "Mommy, is it okay if I check under Matthew's pants?"
"Yes," I answered.
She turned toward Matthew. "Matthew, Mommy says it's okay, but Matthew, what if Mommy had said no, then what would you do?"
"I would say NO and scream!" he said.
"That's great, Matthew! And there is one more thing you should do if someone asks to look under your pants without permission. You should find and tell mommy or daddy."
With tears in my eyes I looked at her and said, "Thank you for that."
"You're welcome," she gently replied and continued on with the exam.
As a survivor of sexual abuse and a mommy who has been teaching my son what to do and say if anyone ever asks or tries to touch the area covered by his bathing suit, this visit with his doctor helped affirm everything I have been working so hard to train Matthew to do. It gave me confidence that what I have been teaching him is sinking in and he knows what to do if he's ever put in that situation.
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My friend thanks God for this experience. I thank God too. It has brought peace to her heart, not only as a mother, but as a survivor. God cares about that.
I also thank her consummate pediatrician. She understands that she needs to not only care for her patients' bodies, but their minds and spirits as well.
Consider enlisting your pediatrician to help you protect your children from sexual abuse. Print this blog post and take it to your child's next doctor's visit. You'll not only be helping your own kids, but others as well.
Imagine a world where parents and pediatricians work together to protect kids from CSA. Imagine.
This is a great example for teaching our kids to protect themselves without instilling fear. Thanks for sharing.
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