What You Don't Know Could Hurt a Child

True or false: Child predators wear white socks with black shoes, trench coats, and hang out in parks?                            

 Answer: False

Perhaps some do, but adults must understand that perpetrators come from all races, religions, and socio-economic backgrounds. Therefore, they can be any color, attend any house of worship, and live in a cottage or a mansion. And yes, they may wear any color of socks with any color or style of shoes, sport leather jackets, suede coats, rain slickers, and hang out anywhere they please . . . although, they prefer to hang out with children.

True or False: Only adult men molest children.

 Answer: False

 Sadly, teen to child molestation is on the rise and women have been known to violate children too.

True or False: Single men are more likely to molest children than married men.

Answer: False

Perpetrators are more likely to be married than single.

When I Was a Child, I Thought Like a Child (part 2)

"What happened to Billy?" Many ask.

Billy, not his real name, was the hired teenage field hand who attempted to molest me.

"I don't know." Is my answer.

As I mentioned in my last post, my father was a part of what Tom Brokaw dubbed, The Greatest Generation, they spoke little with their lips. They shouted by their actions.

My dad and I never spoke about the situation between Billy and me in the barn, nor did he speak to my mother about it. My father has since passed away, and I didn't tell my mother about the incident until after my father died.

But this is what I remember: Watching my dad stride toward the barn and feeling bad for Billy. I think I got Billy in big trouble.

This is what I know: I never saw Billy again. And my father was never charged with assault or murder.

I understand that it's difficult to comprehend why a child would care about the person who attempted to molest them or molested them, but it is a concept we must embrace in order to best protect our children from abuse.

Cec Murphey addressed this issue on his blog ,Shattering the Silence , this week. He explains the affection he felt toward one of his perpetrators. I think it will help us have a better understanding of how children think. Please click here: Emotional Confusion .


When we remember what it was like to think like a child, we gain a better understanding how to protect children from sexual abuse.



Exciting news: We plan to have my story, Rise and Shine: A Tool for the Prevention of Childhood Sexual Abuse, available on-line by mid-April. Please help us spread the word. Locate "Like" us on FaceBook next to this post. Watch the book trailer on our FaceBook page, and "Share" it. Let us help you protect your children, and you can help us protect the children of the world.

When I Was a Child, I Thought Like a Child

I spotted my father. He was seated on a lawn chair under the Maple tree. I ran.

“Daddy, Daddy, I was in the hayloft and Billy wanted me to . . .”

I won’t write what Billy, a teenage hired field hand, wanted me to do. I don’t believe that being graphic on my blog is helpful to anyone. But I did tell my father what Billy wanted me to do—the game he wanted me to play. I told my dad—everything.

My father didn’t respond in word, he was a member of what Tom Brokaw dubbed The Greatest Generation, that generation who discussed little, but out of their sacrifices ended a war. To this day, the men and women of WWII don’t like to be referred to as heroes; they just did what they had to do. However, my father did respond in deed—he listened to me, believed me, and took action. And although I didn’t understand the impact of his actions on my life as a child, they speak volumes to me today.

On that summer day, in 1968, my father chose to become my hero. But I’m sure if he were still alive, he would say, “I did what I had to do.”

I can still feel the emotion as I watched my dad bolt from his chair. He was headed for the barn. He was headed for Billy.

One would think that I stood there cheering my father on. “Go get’em, Daddy!”

I didn’t. I remember what I thought at that moment because my thought was attached to an emotion. I think I just got Billy in big trouble.

I didn’t want to get Billy into trouble; I just wanted to tell my dad about the scary situation I had experienced in the barn.

Children think in the moment. They can’t comprehend the complexities of sexual abuse or its consequences. They care deeply about people, even people who hurt them. And that is why adults must protect them.

  

To understand how to best protect children from sexual abuse, we must remember what it was like to think as a child. And do what we have to do.

Ode to the Momma Heroes

“You’re a hero,” said the reporter.

“No, I just did what my instincts told me to do,” said the mom.

What did the mom do? When she heard the “freight train” coming, she wrapped her two children in a blanket and lay on top of them just before a tornado leveled their home, and as she saw debris flying toward them, she readjusted her body to absorb the blows of flying bricks and furniture. She lost one leg below the knee and her foot on her remaining leg. Her children? They walked away without a scratch.

The reporter continued to insist that she is a hero. The mother continued to deny it. She just did what any mother would do.

I sat in front of the TV screen and pondered. Would I have done that too? I pictured the faces of my kids. Tears pooled in my eyes. Yeah, I would. I know I would.

A mother’s instinct to protect her babies—it’s a beautiful thing.

I spoke to a group of MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) this week about protecting their children from sexual abuse. They were eager to hear what I had to say. I am encouraged that these mommas are now aware of the “freight train” (sexual abuse) and will not hide under the comforters of silence and ignorance. They now understand how to wrap their children in blankets of knowledge and awareness, and will cover their children with their wisdom and love.

Will their children walk through this life without ever receiving scratch? I don’t know. But these mothers will follow their instincts to protect their babies, and I will call them heroes.





Image'>http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1499">Image: Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net