It's never too late to begin the healing process from childhood sexual abuse. It's never too early to fall in love with the person God created you to be. Long ago someone made a choice to take away your innocence, but today that someone can't touch your freedom to heal.

Friday, November 18, 2011

She Told: A Story of Thanksgiving

Marie waited until the rest of the women walked to the other end of the room. We were alone.

“I told him,” she said.

My eyes engaged hers. “You told him?” I asked, attempting to subdue the surprise in my voice.



“Yes . . . everything.”

Marie had kept her secret locked up for years. When she had finally found the courage to tell someone she loved, she had received a response that only deepened her shame. I was afraid she would never tell again. I wouldn’t have blamed her if she hadn’t.

But now, just weeks before her wedding, just weeks before she would pledge to become one with another, she told. Her secret was out. She had found the courage to voice her secret again.

“How did he respond?” I asked.

Her eyes sparkled. “He was wonderful.”

I pulled her close, my voice, a whisper through my tears, “What a way to begin a marriage.”


I attended her wedding, and as I have observed their lives as husband and wife through the years, I am reminded: To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, KJV)

She chose to tear down the secret, to build intimacy within their marriage,
She chose to weep before her beloved, so they could laugh,
They chose to mourn her past together, so they could dance,
And oh . . . how they danced!

Have a blessed Thanksgiving,

Image'>">Image: photostock /

Friday, November 11, 2011

Dear Coach Paterno

As the sun sets on your forty-six year career as the coach of the Penn State Nittany Lions, and the heinous actions of one man can no longer be hidden by the passivity of others, please consider this: Perhaps you were called to something greater than football. Perhaps there is another team for you to lead.

You see, there are thousands of institutions and organizations who don’t know how to respond in the wake of sexual abuse allegations. They have no game plan and their opponent is relentless.

Lead a new team. Teach others what you’ve learned. This may be your opportunity to coach more men and women than you ever did in the history of your career. This may be your opportunity to leave a legacy far greater than you could have asked for or imagined. Perhaps for such a time as this you’ve been placed into this world.

Coach Paterno, it’s the fourth quarter, your team is down by six, it’s your turn to call the play. Only this decision may not just affect a season, but years to come.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Speak No Evil

“He was a good man. Everybody loved him. He was a deacon in his church, and when he died, his funeral was packed.”

She blurted out the words as she told me her story,

Confusion outlining her face,

                                                  Torment highlighting her eyes.

I can only imagine what it was like for her to sit through holidays and reunions,

Hearing the living sing praises of the dead,

                                                         Pretending all is well,

                                                                           Knowing he was good,

                                                                                           Understanding he was bad.

He was a family member. And because she loved him and her family, she didn’t speak of his evil, and no one ever asked.

And she did as children often do,

She protected the guilty,

                                          To protect the innocent.

Perhaps to some, she would be considered a hero.

                                                                    She hid the crime.

                                                                                              She took one for the team.

But should sin ever be protected?

                                 Should a child ever bear the wounds of a hero?

                                                                     For the sake for the family?

                                                                                          For the sake for the team?

Perhaps if someone would have asked, she would have told. And she could have laid down the wounds long carried. And someone would have been a hero,

                                                       For the sake of the child,

                                                                         For the sake of the family,

                                                                                               For the sake of the team.

When was the last time you spoke to your child about sexual abuse? Be a hero.

Image'>">Image: David Castillo Dominici /
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