Ah, when the house finally gets peaceful at 7:32 each morning...
Why precisely 7:32? That's when the last three children leave, and the bus driver, I don't know how she manages it, picks them up at 7:32, on the dot. And I close the door, alone in the house at last.
Some days I skip into the kitchen, make a little something for myself, and rush to the next thing. Other days, like today, I sigh, a big sigh, pause, and wonder, "Why do I feel Mr. Sadness tugging at my heart, nagging me like a child who wants a drink of water, refusing to go away until his need is met?"
It doesn't take long for my heart to answer. It knows precisely why Mr. Sadness has shown up at 7:32--the house is empty. Very empty.
You see, this weekend the house was full. Very full. Bursting at the seams full. And there were moments that I longed for a little piece of the quiet I have today, a moment to take a breath, and think a thought, uninterrupted.
A mother's life it like that. It jumps from daytime to bedtime, from noisy to quiet, and ultimately, from full to empty. I know this; I have seen the school bus drive away and the dawn of the empty nest.
So I'll great Mr. Sadness. Yes, I'll welcome him in. And together we'll sit at the feet of Jesus. I will tell them of all the crazy chaos of the weekend, as I tuck those memories in my heart, one by one. And I will praise God for the each and every moment. And Mr. Sadness will transform into Mr. Joy... at precisely the right time.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
The Stain Lifter
I had a spiritual two by four hit me up side the head this morning. It hurt.
I subscribe to proverbs31.org to enhance my devotions each day. Today's devotional talked about laundry...not a subject that I like to talk about, nonetheless read about. In my opinion, laundry should be a four letter word. But it was a good devotional; one that reminded me that Jesus doesn't mind washing the stains off me each and every day, 24/7. Great. The gospel message. It doesn't get any better than that. Does it? But...
Then came the ouchy part. Somewhere between the words in the devotional, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart. "You don't want to be just like the rest of the laundry; you want to be stain-resistant. You don't want to deal with dirty laundry." Now that may sound like a godly desire, and in a sense it is. But, for a recovering perfectionist like me...it's a blueberry stain on a white shirt. And this stain doesn't want to budge.
You see, sometimes it's not enough for me that Jesus died for me and made me stainless in His eyes. I want to be stainless in my eyes, and in the eyes of others. Now this is really painful to admit. Exposing the pride in my life always is. And believe me, I'm feeling a little naked right now. But you know, there is a certain freedom in being naked.
And so today, I choose to be naked. To lay all my laundry out before the Lord, and let Him do only what He can...make me clean. And even lift that blueberry stain.
I subscribe to proverbs31.org to enhance my devotions each day. Today's devotional talked about laundry...not a subject that I like to talk about, nonetheless read about. In my opinion, laundry should be a four letter word. But it was a good devotional; one that reminded me that Jesus doesn't mind washing the stains off me each and every day, 24/7. Great. The gospel message. It doesn't get any better than that. Does it? But...
Then came the ouchy part. Somewhere between the words in the devotional, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart. "You don't want to be just like the rest of the laundry; you want to be stain-resistant. You don't want to deal with dirty laundry." Now that may sound like a godly desire, and in a sense it is. But, for a recovering perfectionist like me...it's a blueberry stain on a white shirt. And this stain doesn't want to budge.
You see, sometimes it's not enough for me that Jesus died for me and made me stainless in His eyes. I want to be stainless in my eyes, and in the eyes of others. Now this is really painful to admit. Exposing the pride in my life always is. And believe me, I'm feeling a little naked right now. But you know, there is a certain freedom in being naked.
And so today, I choose to be naked. To lay all my laundry out before the Lord, and let Him do only what He can...make me clean. And even lift that blueberry stain.
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