It's never too late to begin the healing process from childhood sexual abuse. It's never too early to fall in love with the person God created you to be. Long ago someone made a choice to take away your innocence, but today that someone can't touch your freedom to heal.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Protecting Our Kids: The Definition (Part 1)

"Do you see anything wrong with what she's wearing?" asked the editor as he pointed to the illustration of the little girl in overalls. He had just read my sexual abuse prevention manuscript and now he was evaluating the illustrations.

"No." I responded.

"Think about it."

I looked back at the illustration hoping the answer would jump off the page. It didn't. I turned toward him, "I'm sorry," I said, my eyebrows and shoulders raised, "I'm just not getting it."

He hesitated. I waited.

" could someone touch her, you know, in her private areas, with those [overalls] on?"

There is much confusion as to what constitutes sexual abuse. Before we begin our discussion on protecting our kids from sexual abuse, let me give you a definition from an expert who has spent years counseling survivors.

"Sexual abuse is any contact or interaction (visual, verbal, or psychological) between a child/adolescent and an adult when the child/adolescent is being used for the sexual stimulation of the perpetrator or any other person. Sexual abuse may be committed by a person under the age of eighteen when that person is either significantly older than the victim or when the perpetrator is in a position of power or control over the victimized child/adolescent." (The Wounded Heart by Dr. Dan B. Allender, Navpress, 1995, page 48.)

I didn't rattle off this definition to the editor. He was already overwhelmed--clearly uncomfortable with the topic.

"A violation is a violation," I responded, "regardless of whether it was above the clothes or beneath the clothes."

"You'd better include that in the back of your book or something." he said.

"Yes, I think I should."

Conversation ended.

Parents who refuse to ignore the epidemic of childhood sexual abuse have embraced the first step in protecting their kids from sexual abuse.

Please join me in learning more tips to protect your kids over the next several weeks. Stop by next week for step two.

Myth: Children are most often sexually abused by strangers in trench coats, white socks, and black shoes.

Fact: Ninety to ninety-five percent of children are sexually abused by someone they know and trust.


  1. Carolyn, this is a great blog and I hope a lot of people will be helped through your work on it.

  2. Thanks, Ferree. Your encouragement means so much.

  3. Carolyn....Sadly, this is my first time reading your blog (I decided to check it out because of the contest). It won't be my last and I will refer friends. I appreciate your heart, vulnerability, sensitivity and wisdom. (And those are just the first things that come to mind.) Blessings on you. Thank you for what you are doing.

  4. Thanks High family. I love you guys! Thanks for the encouragement and for joining me on this journey.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...