Protecting the Guilty to Protect the Innocent

“Ya know, it’s funny,” she said. “Everyone knows about my abuse but my parents . . . my husband, my friends, even people at my church.”

It’s sad, but true. Often survivors feel trapped by the circumstances of their abuse, unable to give voice to their biggest secret with the ones whom they’ve known their entire lifetimes—their parents.

There are varied reasons as to why this is true. Often it is because the parents, of the survivor, knew and trusted the perpetrator and left their child under the perpetrater’s care. Children are intuitive. They know if they tell their parents that so and so touched them inappropriately, that this information will hurt their parents. And those child survivors become adult survivors. And adult survivors know this information will hurt their parents.

Children, young and old, protect the guilty to protect the innocent.

And that is one of the reasons why I am so passionate about parents talking to their children about sexual abuse. If we teach our children what sexual abuse is and instruct them to tell us if someone violates them, NO MATTER WHO THE PERSON IS, we build a bridge of communication between us and our children, a bridge that our children can cross should a violation occur.

Because parents should be the protectors, not the protected . . .



Please join me in becoming a protector. Talk to your kids. And if your kids are grown, consider asking them if they were ever violated. It’s never too late to build the bridge, to begin the conversation. It’s never too late to help your child heal.




Image'>http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=584">Image: Chris Sharp / FreeDigitalPhotos.net