Today, we welcome Dawn Scott Jones, author of When a Woman You Love Was Abused.
I’m a survivor of childhood
sexual abuse. I want to tell my story because I’m hopeful that by doing so, others
can draw from the insights I’ve gained and find help and comfort in knowing
that they’re not alone. Indeed we’re not
alone:
·
One in three girls have encountered sexual abuse.
For boys, the generally accepted statistic is one-in-six.
·
Ninety percent of victims know their abuser. Commonly
reported abusers are fathers, stepfathers, brothers, uncles, and grandfathers. Other abusers are babysitters, teachers and
neighbors.
Until recently, I couldn’t have told you how deeply I was
affected by sexual abuse, but years later I’ve come to know that abuse is not
over, even when it’s over.
My Story
Although I don’t have total recall, I have vivid memories of the
sexual molestation I encountered. Behind
the curtain of love and security given in my childhood home, lurked a monster—a
sexual predator. I wish I’d never known about him, but bit-by-bit the drape was
pulled back until finally I met the monster.
He was my dad by day, but something else by night. One evening I
went to bed with the innocence of a child and the next morning I awakened with
intense shame. My father, my childhood hero, had become my abuser. The one I
looked to for protection, security, and love was the one stripping it from me. My
innocence was stolen—my sense of worth, shattered. Is this all I’m made for? For the next several years I questioned
my value, my abilities, and my worth. I
tried to ignore my past by stuffing my emotions and minimizing my pain. I denied
the impact of sexual abuse.
But soon my body told on me; Panic attacks, depression, anxiety,
and sleep disturbance, began to plague me. Anger erupted at the slightest
perceived threat. Trust issues and intimacy fears surfaced in relationships. I
was unraveling at the seams of my soul. Although sexual abuse had been over for
years, it wasn’t over at all. I was
still a victim caught in its grip.
Many survivors find themselves in a similar vice-grip. They tend
to minimize or dismiss the trauma of their abuse by reasoning, “It’s in the
past.” Or “ It wasn’t that bad.”
Reality is often too devastating and overwhelming to face, so
they suppress their abusive past, hoping that the residue of trauma will
disappear with the passing of time.
The psychological imprint abuse leaves on its victims, however,
is massive. Soul-wounds like these don’t just somehow mysteriously fade away
when abuse ends. On the contrary, only when abuse is over, can a survivor start
to process the event and thaw out from her emotionally frozen state. Often, this
is years later.
If you, or someone you know is suffering with the aftermath of
abuse, it’s not uncommon—in fact, it’s expected. Survivors question if they’ll ever
find peace. Haunting memories lurk on the peripheral of their mind and they wonder
how long they can evade them. They desire wholeness, but doubt it’s possible.
Well, the hope of healing and overcoming is alive. Survivors can experience
a healing journey and find freedom after abuse. It’s an exhilarating and
excruciatingly painful pathway, but Jesus will walk with anyone who calls on
his name.
Next week, in Part 2, we will explore what it means to find healing from
S.A.
Dawn Scott Jones
No comments:
Post a Comment