“As you grew we wanted to
protect and love you always. We thought
we had done that, but now we find out that we did not protect you from sexual
abuse. We had no clue, especially by the
adult we all trusted so completely. I
feel I failed you. I did not see any
signs. The person who did this was one
of the last people I ever would have thought could betray you and us. You see, you are the major victim here, but
there are those others who are victims, too.
The pebble in the water creates vast reaching ripples, taking in victims
all along the way.” A mother
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| Photography by Christy Mae, Used by permission, Copyright 2012 |
The heartache of a mother and
father. They love their baby girl. They loved the perpetrator. Never in a
million years did they think he was capable of such a heinous crime. He had
been a safe person with some, but not with others. And they never knew.
Jerry Sandusky. Father.
Coach. Philanthropist. Many knew him as a good man. But now we all know. He was
safe with some. Not with others.
How does that happen? We
could try to understand it. And there are those who study it. But even if we
knew the answer, would it take away the pain?
No.
A parent is still left
riddled with guilt and haunted with questions: How could he? Where was I when
this happened? Why didn’t I see it? How could this happen? Why didn’t she tell
me? Was I a distant parent? And on and on.
You can’t identify a
perpetrator by his looks. And cases show many are adept at hiding their
actions. Warning signs are hidden beneath merit badges, charming personalities,
and the accolades of others.
We want to believe sexual abuse only happens to kids in bad families filled with abuse and
neglect. That is simply not true.
Sexual abuse can happen
anywhere, in any faith, and yes, in any family.
Perhaps some parents are only
guilty of trusting.
I believe in grace. I believe as Maya Angelou
says, “When you know better you do better.” We know now that the best defense
we have against childhood sexual violations is to talk to our kids. Begin the
conversation. Build the bridge. Be the hero. Learn more at
RiseandShineMovment.org
This is beautifully and tenderly written! Well said.
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