It's never too late to begin the healing process from childhood sexual abuse. It's never too early to fall in love with the person God created you to be. Long ago someone made a choice to take away your innocence, but today that someone can't touch your freedom to heal.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

What to Do with Uncle Joe

“He’s always coming at her demanding hugs and kisses. She just stares at him, and he continues to nag, saying that he won’t give up until she responds. He's harmless, but it bugs me. I want to say something. Do something. Yet, I don’t want to hurt his feelings.” A mom

The clueless and relentless uncle, he wants his hugs and kisses from all the kids and pouts, teases, and manipulates until he gets what he wants.

He’s a big kid. And he is probably harmless. But what’s a momma to do about him, especially a momma who’s trying to help her kids understand that they are allowed to say, “No!”?

She has a talk with Uncle Joe.

Yep, you read that right. She needs to have a talk—a talk right there in the middle of Christmas. No bah-humbug. No need to be Debbie-downer. Just a simple non-threating conversation.

“Uncle Joe, we’re trying to teach Sally that she’s allowed to have boundaries and that she’s allowed to tell people, ‘No!’” the momma says as she gently touches his arm. “I know how much you care about her . . . and you know,” she whispers, “how dangerous the world is out there. Well, I was wondering if you could help us out. When Sally doesn’t want to hug you, could you just tell her that it’s okay? It would really help us teach her, and it will help protect her from people who may want to hurt her. Thanks,” she smiles. “I really appreciate your help.”

Non-threatening conversations not only help us set boundaries with all the clueless Uncle Joes and cheek-pinching Aunt Bettys, it helps us protect our kids. Embrace teachable moments, one conversation at a time.

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