It's never too late to begin the healing process from childhood sexual abuse. It's never too early to fall in love with the person God created you to be. Long ago someone made a choice to take away your innocence, but today that someone can't touch your freedom to heal.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Looking for Eden, Christy's Voice (Part 2)

Tamar's Redemption Tuesdays
 How We Hurt, How We Heal

Eight years ago, in a time of immense trial, God became real to me. Although God and I met every Sunday since I was very small, sitting next to my Grandmother in the church pew, he always felt far away.

For many years, I imagined myself at the front of the time machine line – clicking back the years and changing history. I thought a re-write was exactly what I needed. Cue the knight in shining armor to save me from my childhood sexual abuse. This would change my life – for the better.

As I imagined my perfect story, free from betrayals and hurts of any kind, full of love and laughter and – everyone doing things my way –it hit me. I was looking for Eden when I live in Pennsylvania.
Used by permission, Photography by Christy Mae, Copyright 2012

Viewing my world through “personal hurt glasses” I was rejecting the story God was writing for my life. I saw every hurt, every trial as a punishment, or a lack of protection, against me. I struggled to understand how evil things happened under the watchful, ever-present eye of a loving God.

Counseling helped me to remove those glasses until I finally understood. My hero did come –but it was not in the way I had pictured it. I needed to put aside my own stubborn self to see a hero strong enough to withstand my nagging questions, loving enough to handle all of my doubts, and faithful to stay with me until I was ready to see.

"That which we fear might happen to us — might be the thing to produce deep faith in us. Why be afraid of anything — when He’s using everything?"

We invite you to visit Christy's blog -


  1. Thanks for your comment, Mandy! Maybe half the battle is recognizing when you're wearing those glasses and finally realizing you can see so much better without them!

  2. Oh, Christy. So good! I know those glasses. It is good to hear someone else speak of them. I think I held on so long because I felt that if no one was going to get riled up for me, I would take that on myself.


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