Tamar's Redemption Tuesdays
How We Hurt, How We Heal
Eight years ago, in a time of immense trial, God became real
to me. Although God and I met every Sunday since I was very small,
sitting next to my Grandmother in the church pew, he always felt far away.
For many years, I imagined myself at the front of the time
machine line – clicking back the years and changing history. I thought a
re-write was exactly what I needed. Cue the knight in shining armor to save me
from my childhood sexual abuse. This would change my life – for the better.
As I imagined my perfect story, free from betrayals and
hurts of any kind, full of love and laughter and – everyone doing things my way
–it hit me. I was looking for Eden when I live in Pennsylvania.
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| Used by permission, Photography by Christy Mae, Copyright 2012 |
Viewing my world through “personal hurt glasses” I was
rejecting the story God was writing for my life. I saw every hurt, every trial
as a punishment, or a lack of protection, against me. I struggled to understand
how evil things happened under the watchful, ever-present eye of a loving God.
Counseling helped me to remove those glasses until I finally
understood. My hero did come –but it was
not in the way I had pictured it. I needed to put aside my own stubborn
self to see a hero strong enough to withstand my nagging questions, loving
enough to handle all of my doubts, and faithful to stay with me until I was
ready to see.
"That which we fear might happen to us — might be the thing to
produce deep faith in us. Why be afraid of anything — when He’s using
everything?"
You may want to read, (Part 1) Looking for a Hero, Christy's Voice
We invite you to visit Christy's blog - http://www.ahearteninglife.com/
Thanks for your comment, Mandy! Maybe half the battle is recognizing when you're wearing those glasses and finally realizing you can see so much better without them!
ReplyDeleteOh, Christy. So good! I know those glasses. It is good to hear someone else speak of them. I think I held on so long because I felt that if no one was going to get riled up for me, I would take that on myself.
ReplyDelete