It's never too late to begin the healing process from childhood sexual abuse. It's never too early to fall in love with the person God created you to be. Long ago someone made a choice to take away your innocence, but today that someone can't touch your freedom to heal.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Voices of Tamar’s Redemption: Christy’s Voice, Christy’s Journey (Part 2)

Tamar's Redemption Tuesdays
How We Hurt, How We Heal


Used with permission, Photography by Christy Mae, Copyright 2012
I met Shame in high school. That's when the memories came flooding back. I’m sure I had met him before, but I never knew his name.

Shame became a constant companion. When the memories continued their assault, Shame made me feel like the sexual abuse had been my fault. Shame kept my mouth shut, too embarrassed to talk about it. Made me feel like I should have known better.

Not dealing with the abuse seemed easier then facing it. Denial worked, for a while, to keep my enemy Shame at bay, a shield to protect myself from his attacks. If I didn’t think about it or talk about it, I wouldn’t have to feel Shame’s nagging taunts. Or so I thought.

I was one of the “walking wounded." On the surface I used denial like a cheap Band-Aid to cover up what I didn't want to see. But an infection was slowly spreading inside of me from the pain and confusion I kept hidden.

Protecting myself became my best defense against future impropriety, along with an arsenal of denial and mistrust.  In my innocence, someone took advantage of me. If I could help it, I would never let that happen to me again.

“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.”  - Brene’ Brown

Part one of Christy's story.

http://www.ahearteninglife.com/ Christy's blog.

2 comments:

  1. Here's a book about dealing with shame, suggested to me by a friend.
    Shame Interrupted: How God Lifts the Pain of Worthlessness and Rejectionhttp://www.amazon.com/Shame-Interrupted-Lifts-Worthlessness-Rejection/dp/1935273981/ref=reg_hu-rd_add_1_dp

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have friend who has found this book to be helpful too.

    ReplyDelete

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