Tamar's Redemption Tuesdays
How We Hurt, How We Heal
Eight years ago, in a time of immense trial, God became real to me. Although God and I met every Sunday since I was very small, sitting next to my Grandmother in the church pew, he always felt far away.
For many years, I imagined myself at the front of the time machine line – clicking back the years and changing history. I thought a re-write was exactly what I needed. Cue the knight in shining armor to save me from my childhood sexual abuse. This would change my life – for the better.
As I imagined my perfect story, free from betrayals and hurts of any kind, full of love and laughter and – everyone doing things my way –it hit me. I was looking for Eden when I live in Pennsylvania.
|Used by permission, Photography by Christy Mae, Copyright 2012|
Viewing my world through “personal hurt glasses” I was rejecting the story God was writing for my life. I saw every hurt, every trial as a punishment, or a lack of protection, against me. I struggled to understand how evil things happened under the watchful, ever-present eye of a loving God.
Counseling helped me to remove those glasses until I finally understood. My hero did come –but it was not in the way I had pictured it. I needed to put aside my own stubborn self to see a hero strong enough to withstand my nagging questions, loving enough to handle all of my doubts, and faithful to stay with me until I was ready to see.
"That which we fear might happen to us — might be the thing to produce deep faith in us. Why be afraid of anything — when He’s using everything?"
You may want to read, (Part 1) Looking for a Hero, Christy's Voice
We invite you to visit Christy's blog - http://www.ahearteninglife.com/