It's never too late to begin the healing process from childhood sexual abuse. It's never too early to fall in love with the person God created you to be. Long ago someone made a choice to take away your innocence, but today that someone can't touch your freedom to heal.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

The Mountain of Fairytales (Spouses Caught in the Ripple, Part 5)

She thought one day her prince would come. He did. But he didn’t.

Copyright 2012 Rise and Shine Movement

A survivor wife shares:

One thing I have known for a long time.  I wanted him [my husband] to be my hero and savior.  I wished he would compensate for my areas of fear and insecurity.  I wanted the guy from the movies who is never afraid of anything, and was always there to make sure I was okay.  Or that's what I thought I wanted, anyway.  I know now that sometimes what you need is not what you want.  I still struggle at times with that feeling of wanting to be rescued, and not have to do the hard work.

There is a reason little girls dream of a prince. Disney knows that; they’ve made billions selling it. But do we?

A prince will give us value, turn our mountain of unworthiness into gold. He will turn our rags into ball gowns, our nightmares into a fairy tales. He will know what we need before we ever ask. Because the prince always “gets” the princess. He understands the healing words she longs to hear. He gives her story a happily-ever-after ending.

I’ve wished that for all of my survivor friends. They, of all people, deserve the prince—someone who turns hellish nightmares to heavenly realities. But wish I may, wish I might, may I have the wish I wish tonight? No. Because that’s Disney, not reality.

So what’s a survivor princess to do?

As my survivor friend admits so freely, “I still struggle at times with that feeling of wanting to be rescued, and not have to do the hard work.”

Hard work or rescue? Given a choice we would all choose rescue, not hard work. But rescue is not a choice. It never will be. Because as Dorothy says, “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”

I’m so thankful my survivor friend has chosen the hard work. I know her. I know her husband. There is so much beauty in watching them climb the mountains sexual abuse has created. And although the view for them is sometimes ugly, if you asked them, they would say that it’s been worth the climb. And every now and then, they get a glimpse of beauty that can only be described as miraculous.

And that’s why they’re sharing their story. To help you climb. Because far too many survivor princesses leave one prince to find another. And in searching for the fairy tale, they’re missing the view of a lifetime.

Please join us next week. We’ll take a rest from our climb. We’ll stop, take a breath, and learn practical things husbands can do to help their survivor wives thrive. 

Spouses Caught in the Ripple (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4)


  1. You are so right! In the midst of the chaos, rescue can be an awfully tempting way to avoid the hard stuff. And yet, it's the hard stuff that can bring the greatest rewards — growth, peace, healing.

  2. Yes, and in this instant gratification world, I'm sad that so many race right by what truly brings the greatest joy. Too bad every life doesn't have one of those books where you make the choices, and based on the choice you make, you get to see the different outcomes. Can you imagine the surprise endings?


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