“But won’t I take away his innocence? I mean, teaching him
about sex, won’t that put ideas into his little head?”
Won't teaching my child about sex take away his innocence? is a good question. Perhaps the better question is, How do I want my child to approach his sexuality, with knowledge or shame?
Perhaps you've had this question too. It’s a good one. And
in my humble opinion, there’s nothing more precious than a child’s innocence. It’s
sacred. It must be protected.
But here’s the thing, it is not knowledge that destroys
innocence. It is silence and shame.
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I've been reading the experts.
Do you know that male fetuses have erections in utero?
I know . . . you just squirmed reading that. Sorry. But hang
in here with me.
Take a deep breath now. Here’s another one, it’s not
uncommon for both male and female infants to experience sexual arousal during
nursing. It’s as natural to
their bodies as a hiccup or a burp.
Fast forward a year or two. You find your little one with
their hands in their pants. You have a choice to make. Do you freak out, "Stop that! Stop that RIGHT NOW!" Or do you acknowledge
their sexuality? “Yep Sammy, that feels good doesn't it? It’s great that
our bodies were designed to feel good." Then redirect their attention. "Can you go get that new toy you got for
your birthday? Show me how it works.”
One response brings silence and shame, the other knowledge.
Our kids are sexual beings. We are sexual beings.
When we ignore this important part of who they are, of who
we are, we are pushing them toward silence and secrets. Their bodies are going
to respond to stimuli. Are we going to guide them through it
or pretend it doesn't exist?
Won't teaching my child about sex take away his innocence? is a good question. Perhaps the better question is, How do I want my child to approach his sexuality, with knowledge or shame?
Teaching healthy
sexuality to our kids not only helps our children understand their bodies and
feel validated, it helps protect them from sexual abuse. Predators want
children who don’t understand their bodies and who are frightened to talk to
their parents about sex and sexual abuse. It is not knowledge that destroys
innocence. It is silence and shame.
Books I recommend to help you teach your children healthy sexuality. They help take the hyper out of your ventilation.
I'm thankful to you, Carolyn! There is so much "shame" placed around sexuality and it's definitely not something I desire to pass on to my kids. I appreciate you saying the "uncomfortable" stuff for the benefit and education of parents!
ReplyDeleteYou are welcome. I admit it, I still blush as I write, but I must push through my own shame to write this important stuff. If I knew what I know now, I would certainly like a "do-over" with my adult kids. We did some things well. Some things, not so well.
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